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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 1, 2012 3:05am-4:00am PST

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captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody! how are you doing? hey, everybody. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everyone. how are you doing? yeah, great. thank you for coming, you guys. we have a great show tonight. hey, today is ash -- today is ash wednesday, all over the country, people are giving things up for lent. in my opinion, rick santorum should give up chocolate. [ laughter ] while newt gingrich should give up -- that's it. he should just give up. [ laughter ] i just think he should give up. he doesn't have a chance. it's just -- [ cheers and applause ] it's a waste of time. have you -- have you guys seen this video going around? rick santorum? have you seen this? he's going around -- he's telling voters that he wants them to know who he really is.
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take a look at this. >> no written speeches. the opportunity to see what's in here. what's up here. and what's burning down here. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what? i don't get that -- can we see that again? just show it one more time, 'cause i can't believe. >> no written speeches. the opportunity to see what's in here. what's up here. and what's burning down here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i'm not sure what's burning down there, but santorum's approval rating just went up 50 points in the jersey shore. [ cheers and applause ] unbelievable. hey, guys, this is cool. beyonce and jay-z were spotted at the knicks game this week.
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yep, they found a last-minute babysitter -- the guy who used to play point guard before jeremy lin. [ laughter ] he's doing it. it's a living. [ laughter ] you guys, it's national pancake week. [ cheers and applause ] yeah! of course, mitt romney was in a debate tonight, so it's also national waffle week, so -- [ laughter ] good to know. this is sweet. a couple in new jersey got married at the white castle restaurant where they met six years ago. [ cheers ] the couple says they're very grateful for what brought them together -- weed. [ laughter ] check this out, you guys. nasa has discovered a nearby planet that is larger than earth. and higgins, i heard it's even bigger than uranus. [ laughter ] >> steve: i think that's impossible. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: listen to this, you guys. a lunch menu -- [ laughter ]
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this is -- [ laughter ] we had to do that joke, right? >> steve: burning down below. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] this is burning down below? >> steve: yeah, burning down below. i want to find out what. i need a cream or a salve. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: listen to this, you guys. a lunch menu from the "titanic" is expected to sell for $150,000 at an auction next month. the menu starts out great, but once you get to the iceberg wedge, it's a total disaster. [ laughter ] too soon? [ laughter ] not funny? oh, come on! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: 100 years ago today -- >> jimmy: "my necklace!" [ laughter ] oh, shut up. [ laughter ] >> steve: 3-d. >> jimmy: in 3-d.
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go see it, you guys. and finally, a collection of rare comic books is expected to go for $2 million at an auction next week. the comics are in great condition 'cause they've never been touched, just like the guy who owns them. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. "my necklace, my necklace fell. [ laughter ] i need it. it's the jewel of the sea." >> steve: adam sandler was in that movie? >> jimmy: adam sandler was in "titanic." [ laughter ] >> steve: i did not know that. "c'mon, let's go in the bath 'n' scathe." that's my bill paxton. >> jimmy: there you go, yeah. >> steve: adam sandler was in that movie? [ as adam sandler ] >> jimmy: "i've got to get my necklace. it fell off the side of the boat." >> steve: i've seen that movie,
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like, ten times. i didn't know that. >> jimmy: nope, adam sandler was in it, man. it was good. >> steve: crazy. >> jimmy: comes out in 3-d. gotta check it out, man. oh, speaking of checking things out, check out -- this is our -- we have our new iphone app right here, you guys. jimmy fallon's wake up call. that's what it's called -- wake up call. and you press the -- press the little app button there. bloop. and it's an alarm clock. but, see, it tells you what the date is, and it tells you what the weather is outside as well. and here's -- it's not just that. you can also change the -- >> steve: whoa. >> jimmy: you can change the face. there you go. bleep-blorp. and there you go. technology. [ audience oohs ] see what i'm sayin'? >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's the type of excitement you -- >> steve: generated by this app. >> jimmy: no, so what happens is you set the alarm, and i fake call your phone. so it rings and it says "call from jimmy." and then i'll leave you a message, like -- so say if it's the weather, you can set it so i'll say it's hailing outside. it'll sound like this. "hey, it's jimmy, and you might want to think twice about going outside today, because it's totally gonna hail. oh, hail, no!" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: real-time theme. >> jimmy: it's available right
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now at the app store. it's 99 cents. pick it up. it's pretty fun. [ cheers and applause ] it's cool. it has 100 different calls or something. we have a big show tonight, as i said. the legendary alan alda is here! [ cheers and applause ] come on. can't beat him. >> steve: give it up. >> jimmy: oh, but she's amazing on "30 rock." our pal, jane krakowski is dropping by! [ cheers and applause ] kids love her. we love her. and broadway week continues with a performance from "ghost." yeah. [ cheers and applause ] it's a new musical based on the classic movie. you know -- ♪ oh, my love my darling ♪ [ as adam sandler ] i'm making the pottery. i have to make the -- >> steve: adam sandler was in that movie, too? >> jimmy: adam sandler was in "ghost." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, my god. i'm a huge sandler fan. [ as adam sandler ] >> jimmy: i have to make this pottery. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: he should do it, though. >> steve: i didn't even notice that. [ as adam sandler ] >> jimmy: yes, he was.
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[ laughter ] i will sing the righteous brothers. ♪ oh my love my darling [ speaks nonsense ] i don't know why i keep doing adam. >> steve: he's in a lot of movies. >> jimmy: god, i love that dude, man. >> steve: gentleman. >> jimmy: but -- so, tonight, they're premiering the song from the musical "ghost." >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: it's the premiere. no one's ever even seen it. [ cheers and applause ] i love it. broadway week is here in new york. if you're coming to new york, get tickets to go see a broadway play. it's just amazing. it's just super fun. i'm excited. this whole week's been great. you guys, president obama has been in the news a lot lately, and one thing i've noticed about him is that he has a very expressive face. he has, like, thousands of different facial expressions. like, one for every occasion. like, we all know the classics. like this one here, this is the "determined, yet hopeful." [ laughter ] but there are tons more that you just don't see as often. you can almost tell what he's thinking just by looking at his face. so i thought, tonight, we'd take a look at some of his lesser-known facial expressions in a segment we call "obama expressions."
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, take a look at this first lesser-known expression from a recent white house teleconference. this is the "what are you wearing?" [ laughter ] here's another lesser-known expression that comes out every once in a while. this is, "oh, no, you didn't!" [ laughter ] it's spelled that way, too. >> steve: yeah, officially. >> jimmy: this next one is a great one. take a look at this expression. this is the "michelle knows." [ laughter ] here's another expression. look at this one. you can tell what he's thinking here. this is the "delivery for governor christie." [ laughter ] >> steve: too soon? >> jimmy: too soon? [ as adam sandler ] my necklace fell over. [ laughter ] you go get it for me. ♪ >> jimmy: this next expression is one of my favorites. this was taken last weekend at a
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dim sum restaurant in san francisco. [ laughter ] look at this woman's hand. [ cheers ] i call it the "hands off my dumpling." that's what that one is, yeah. [ applause ] here's another expression. this is obama visiting a local middle school science fair. this is the "biden, check out this bong." [ laughter ] the next expression is great. take a look at obama's face here. this is the "can i go pee?" [ laughter ] this next expression is one of my favorites. this is the "oh, yeah, '98 toyota tercel, bitches." [ cheers and applause ] stuck it to the side. i know you hate. all right. here's one from a joint news conference with canadian prime minister stephen harper. [ cheers and applause ]
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this is the "pretending to pay attention while actually thinking about the 1990's cereal reese's peanut butter puffs." [ laughter ] here's another one from the same conference. this is the "man, reese's peanut butter puffs are so good. they taste exactly like reese's peanut butter cups. how do they do that?" [ laughter and applause ] here's one. this is the "it was like they took a reese's peanut butter cup, rolled it up into a ball, and then magically shrunk it into bite-sized cereal pieces. maybe that's how they actually made them. whoa. if that was true, even willy wonka would be like, 'what?'" [ cheers and applause ] this next one, this one's called the "speaking of peanut butter, remember peanut butter crunch? it was cap'n crunch but with peanut butter. whoa, which reminds me, remember cap'n crunch oops! all berries? [ laughter ] that was so good, 'cause instead of putting in the crunch pieces, they accidently put in all
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berries. they should make a lucky charms that's called oops! all marshmallows. then we wouldn't have to pour out the box every morning and separate all the cereal pieces from the marshmallow pieces for biden. [ laughter ] the best marshmallow pieces were the pots of gold. heh, heh, heh. good times." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] must have been an interesting meeting. it must have been interesting, 'cause here's another one. this is the "going back to reese's peanut butter puffs, imagine a giant reese's peanut butter puff that's, like, the size of a basketball. that would be perfect, 'cause you could dribble it down the court and then you could pass it to jeremy lin, and jeremy lin could take a bite of it. wait a second. reese's peanut butter puffs. i could get reese witherspoon and puff daddy to do a commercial for reese's puffs. 'cause reese is like reese's, and puff is like puff. get it? and then, i, president obama would be, like, 'hey, diddy, how does reese eat her peanut butter puffs?' and he'd say, 'how?' and i'd say, 'with her spoon.' i'm a genius. [ cheers and applause ]
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in conclusion, reese's peanut butter puffs rule." [ cheers and applause ] just with one glance. he loves reese's peanut butter puffs. >> steve: terrible. >> jimmy: and, finally, i have one last obama expression from a recent 2012 campaign rally. this is the "allow me to introduce my new running mate, optimus prime." [ laughter ] there you have it. those are some great facial expressions. we'll be right back with steel network's sports freak out! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] with swiffer wetjet, cleaning better, doesn't have to take longer. i'm done. i'm going to... drink this... on the porch! ♪ give me just a little more time ♪ [ female announcer ] mops can be a hassle, but swiffer wetjet's spray cleaner and absorbent pads can clean better in half the time
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it cleans your jeans, and won't torture your tanks. so your clothes stay looking and fitting like new. woolite. long live your wardrobe. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you for watching our show. guys, i have a confession to make. i have what they call basketball fever. [ cheers ] yeah. the nba all-star game is this weekend. jeremy lin's been tearing it up for the knicks. [ cheers ] yeah, it's just a great time to be a sports fan. and anyone that knows me knows that i love the sports. in fact, my favorite sports news
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show is airing right now as we speak. it's kind of like "sportscenter," just much, much crazier. so let's switch on over to our sister station, the steel network, and get ready for "the steel network sports freak out." [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: it's "the steel network sports freak out!" >> steve: oh, baby, welcome to "the steel network sports freak out!" i'm your host, bert donovan. >> jimmy: and i'm cory van funk, and i'm -- i'm totally freaking out, man. bert, what the hell's going down in the world of sports? >> steve: well, i'll tell you, it's nba all-star weekend, and the league's best and brightest going head-to-head in a slam dunk contest, three-point shootout, and much, much more. cory, what's your favorite event? >> jimmy: who gives a frick. let's play check out this dude. >> announcer: check out this dude! >> jimmy: wow! check out this dude. [ lasers ] he looks like a caveman justin bieber. >> steve: he looks like a werewolf paul mccartney. >> jimmy: he looks like the starting point guard for menudo. but check out this dude! [ lasers ]
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he looks like an anorexic lou ferrigno. >> steve: he looks like justin guarini if he worked at chippendales. >> jimmy: he looks like he's doing something x-rated to that basketball. ♪ it's my [ bleep ] in a ball [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nerd larry bird. >> steve: lesbian tom petty. >> jimmy: has no idea how to wear socks. >> steve: just got voted off of "project runway." >> jimmy: just found a pair of underoos in his size. >> steve: shut the door, shut the door! i'm trying to take a dump! >> announcer: point counterpunch! >> jimmy: now, this is point counterpunch. tonight's topic for debate, jeremy lin. is he the real deal, bert? >> steve: well, the numbers speak to themselves. linsanity is here to say, and i'm gonna tell you one thing. >> announcer: making terrible things happen with our minds! >> jimmy: this is the part of the show where we make terrible things happen with our minds. let's do this. ♪
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♪ ♪ >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! ♪ >> jimmy: oh! >> steve: uh-oh! >> jimmy: that sound means it's time to summon the t-shirt yeti! ♪ [ horn ] [ cheers and applause ] -- with the bee keeper -- my god, look at this --
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it's crazy, who wants a t-shirt? >> steve: who wants a t-shirt!? oh snap! ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] cookies with smooth caramel
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and chocolate. ♪ hmm twix. also available in peanut butter. so every year my family throws this great reunion in austin. but this year, i can only afford one trip and i've always wanted to learn how to surf. austin's great -- just not for surfing. so i checked out hotwire. and by booking with them, i saved enough to swing both trips. see, hotwire checks the competition's rates every day so they can guarantee their low prices. that's how i got a 4-star hotel on the beach in san diego for half price. ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e ♪ but you can defy it. [ male announcer ] a higher standard in smooth hair is here. new nexxus frizz defy system with moroccan argan oil. protects hair strand by strand to help lock in nourishment and lock out humidity. weightlessly reducing frizz by up to 87%. going beyond frizz control
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a six-time emmy winner, as well as an oscar, grammy and three-time tony nominee. wow. he's best known for his role as hawkeye on the ground breaking tv series "m.a.s.h." [ cheers ] and now he stars in the new comedy "wanderlust." which is in theaters everywhere this weekend. we are honored to have him here. please welcome mr. alan alda! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they love it. >> i know. >> jimmy: you probably never heard that song before. >> that's it? that's the whole thing? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: standing ovation. of course that was the theme song from the show "smash." that's on nbc. you're not in that show at all. >> i'm not in that, no. >> jimmy: yeah, "m.a.s.h." was not a musical at all. >> well, sometimes i sang opera. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. yeah. >> and then they would cut it out. >> jimmy: yes, they would. >> it would be terrible. >> jimmy: it wasn't good at all? you weren't good at it. do you have a history with this studio, right? >> i think that i did "what's my line" in this studio when i was a young actor, just starting out, "what's my line," and "to tell the truth." >> jimmy: all the game shows, yeah. >> we had little tiny dressing rooms there, not like these beautiful things you have now. >> jimmy: thank you. >> we had a little dressing room that was --
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>> jimmy: appreciate that. yeah, 'cause i know dressing rooms -- >> no, it's true. we had two chairs and a sink and i share the dressing rooms with soupy sales. [ scattered laughter ] wonderful comedian. but he used to pee in the sink. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> wait a minute -- too soon? >> jimmy: no. [ cheers and applause ] very good. it might be. it might be. >> i really, i admired him very much. he was a very lovely guy and very funny, but he just couldn't hold it in. he's one of those people. >> jimmy: yeah and i know those people. i've seen the yankee stadium. yeah, they don't want to wait in line. "i'm just gonna pee in the sink." okay, go for it. >> and i wasn't that far from the sink. could you get a little closer to the sink? >> jimmy: you're backing further away from it. >> yeah, then you couldn't go anywhere. you know? >> jimmy: yeah, but this like, they had a bunch of that in here. they did so much history in this studio. "twenty one," you know the big scandal? the "twenty one" scandal. >> oh, yes, when they gave me answers. >> jimmy: -- i wasn't here. >> i didn't get any answers tonight, by the way. what the hell is that? >> jimmy: no, no -- it's not a game show. >> oh, i'm sorry.
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>> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. we're not doing that -- we're doing that tonight. >> you mean i go home empty handed? >> jimmy: yeah, we'll give you some type of present. here, here's a sharpie. >> how about on of those pens? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] that's a good one, you'll like that. [ laughter ] with broadway week here on our show, and i know you started on stage -- >> i did. >> jimmy: and this is an interesting trivia for our fans, you almost died on stage more than once. >> three times. >> jimmy: three times you almost died. >> yeah, yeah, and a couple of them were opening night. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i don't mean, it's not like die like a comic dies, you know. then he walks off and has a glass of beer. this is like really, real death. because i -- >> jimmy: i don't mean to laugh, but -- i'm laughing because you're alive. >> one of them was us playing jobe, from the book of jobe in the bible. >> jimmy: sure. >> and i had all -- i was very young, i was 24, i was about 40 years too young to play him. so i had all this crepe hair on my face. and i didn't really know how to put crepe hair on so it stayed. this would just like come off. so i took a deep breath to go into a long speech and a crepe
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hair had floated out in the air, right to about here, and i went -- [ laughter ] right down my throat. and i choked, for a long time. i was going -- [ coughing ] and for the first minute people in the front row are saying, "he's very realistic." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's really a method actor. >> i was playing jobe, you know. and the next time was an opening night on broadway. and i was supposed to be alone on stage talking to myself. and smoking. and i don't know how to smoke. i still don't know how to smoke. so i lit a cigarette. and i put out the match. and i was wearing a cheap robe made out of something that's very flammable. [ laughter ] and the match was out, but it was still glowing. and i get to the part that's supposed to be funny and i look down, and i'm a sheet of flames. [ laughter ] and i thought to myself, "oh, this will get a big laugh." [ light laughter ] that's unbelievable what you think of -- >> jimmy: the comedian in you. >> yeah. the audience was dead silent. they thought they were going to watch an emulation. [ laughter ]
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so, i'm going like this, you know. and the third time was in a musical on broadway. it was almost opening night. and a giant light that weighed 200 pounds came out of the flies and fell within three inches of my face. boom, right on the floor. and it was just before i was supposed to turn and walk away. it fell right on my cape. i was wearing a cape. so i think to myself, if i pulled on the cape and i can't move it, this will get a giant laugh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love how you're always going for the laughs. that's very smart. >> yeah, well, i mean, they were terrified again, you know. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. what musical -- >> is everything all right tonight? i'm not going to get hurt? >> jimmy: well i don't know. i was gonna say, can we get alan his cape? [ applause ] let's go back to "m.a.s.h" for a second. i was going to ask you. when you did it, did you realize how big that show was going to be? >> no, i didn't think any of us did. we didn't know how long it would run. even when it ran 11 years, on the closing night, you know, on the night when they showed the final episode, about 105 million
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people watched. it was at that time it was about half the country. >> jimmy: well they still compare it. like, even like the super bowl or anything with big ratings. the super bowl was on nbc and they're like, "we almost got to the m.a.s.h. numbers." >> and they're not nearly as funny. >> jimmy: not nearly as funny, no, no. [ light laughter ] >> but they -- except that guy who sat down on the goal line, that was pretty funny. >> jimmy: that actually good. i liked when he did that, yeah. >> but i don't know, that's kind of like stretching it. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. you saw those commercials. no, no, no. >> you got to keep it closer to reality. but it was, boy oh boy, it was. so we were driving to a restaurant to celebrate. and we realized suddenly that the show was really successful, because there were no cars on the street. >> jimmy: wow. >> it was like deserted. >> jimmy: isn't that fun? >> they were all home watching. >> jimmy: isn't that amazing, is that fun? that you can do that? like tell them it was so big and so powerful. >> it was an amazing experience. >> jimmy: and then, what, i mean, you went right into film. you were doing film forever, but i mean the woody allen movies, i mean "crimes and misdemeanors." >> i love doing his movies. >> jimmy: gosh, just great. >> "crimes and misdemeanors" is, i think, at least one of the best movies. one of the best movies, i think that's ever been made. >> jimmy: it really is. >> in this country, such a good movie. >> jimmy: did you see "midnight in paris"? >> yes, i loved it. >> jimmy: i thought that was
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great too. >> i loved it. >> jimmy: is woody -- how -- 'cause i did one -- i did a woody allen movie i had like two lines in it. >> oh yeah? >> jimmy: and i just wanted him to direct me, you know. so i go, "woody, is there anything i can do differently?" you know? and he goes, "just don't sweat." >> did he say that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, 'cause i was sweating. i was very sweaty and nervous. he told me not to sweat. i go all right, cool. >> i think he was, i'm like how do you control a thing like that? >> jimmy: i don't know. but i tried not to -- i sweat more. after he said that made me nervous. i go, "well maybe that's not my character." but it was very funny. >> well, in that case, woody, do you mind if i use the sink? are you going to be using it? >> jimmy: no, no, no use the sink. oh yeah, don't do that in the sink, no. >> he doesn't talk much. >> jimmy: he doesn't talk much at all. 'cause i remember i saw him the next day on the street and i was just getting a slice of pizza, and i go, "that's woody." so, i go over and i go, "hey, woody, how are you doing, buddy?" and he acted like he never met me. [ laughter ] i was like, "oh my gosh!" it was really interesting. really weird. but yeah, i was like, "okay." but then i saw him recently 'cause he plays -- you know, he plays the clarinet. >> oh yes. >> jimmy: amazing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and he's really cool.
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he's like in a new orleans jazz type of ensemble. and he's playing. and -- you know, he kept all these different notes out of it, he goes up, tenor, and then low and screams, the clarinet. so i saw him afterward and i go, "that's crazy there are so many different sounds you can get out of a clarinet." and he goes -- >> who are you? >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. who are you. and he goes -- i go, you go down and you go up. and he goes, "every time i brought it up, that was for you." oh, yeah, get out of here. yeah right, yeah. >> but that's nice, that's very nice. >> jimmy: he's a nice guy. >> he seemed to know who you were. >> jimmy: yeah, he actually pretended to know who i was. it was very nice. you also have a big passion for science, which i think is interesting. you host that show on pbs. >> yes. "scientific america frontiers", yeah. >> jimmy: did you want to get into that field? >> no, no. i never -- no, i wouldn't be able, i wouldn't be a good scientist. >> jimmy: no, no, no, well thank god you didn't. i'm happy you didn't. >> but i'm curious, you know? and i like to know what's -- how things work. >> jimmy: are you good with technology and all that stuff? >> i'm a geek, yeah. >> jimmy: are you really? yeah, yeah, you love that stuff? >> oh, i love it.
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i fix the computers for my grandchildren. >> jimmy: no? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: do you really? >> oh, sure. yeah. >> jimmy: they go to you? >> i showed my 12-year-old grandchild how to take apart the computer, and we took out the hard drive and put in a new hard drive and put the computer back together. i -- all my friends send me their computers to fix. and i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think that's awesome. >> and when i e-mail them about their computer, i sign it, "celebrity tech support." [ laughter ] and my slogan is, "why let a nobody touch your stuff?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very good. hey, that's good. [ cheers and applause ] that's good. that should work. more with alan when we come back, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ ryan ] for my clients, there's nothing like a fresh-cut style to add a spring to the step. but as time passes between cuts,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: we're back with the one and only alan alda. you're a good man. i appreciate everything you do. you write, you direct, you act, you do a lot of stuff. >> i do. >> jimmy: you're a very busy man. >> yeah, i don't have an answer for that, but i do. >> jimmy: yeah, you do. i mean, that's cool, i was just looking through some of your credits here. i mean, you have -- i mean, you were just in "tower heist." "the aviator" you got an oscar nomination. everyone says they love you but you have "betsy's wedding", you wrote and directed. "sweet liberty" wrote and directed. "four seasons" wrote and directed, i mean, it's crazy. you're a talented guy. >> well, i stay up late. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you really do. yeah, yeah, yeah, fixing computers all night. >> yeah, definitely. once i get that out of the way then i can write. >> jimmy: yeah, you're in the geek squad. [ laughter ] "wanderlust," now you're in this new movie coming out. it's going to be a big movie with jennifer aniston and paul rudd. >> right. >> jimmy: it's a fun, it's a funny. >> yeah, oh it's very funny. david wain who was on your show last night has this really quirky sense of humor, that really makes me laugh. >> jimmy: he really does. >> and like one of the funniest things is, i play in this movie,
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i play the founder of a free love commune. [ laughter ] and to me, that's not funny, but it makes all my friends laugh. when i tell them. >> jimmy: yeah, why is that? >> i don't know what that is. >> jimmy: that's so weird. >> why wouldn't i start a free love commune. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, i think it's something you could -- >> if you're going to have love, why wouldn't it be free. >> jimmy: please, yeah. by the way i can give you an address in 40 seconds. [ laughter ] i was going to say, so the movie is basically paul rudd and jennifer move out of the city. >> yeah, they lose their jobs and they've got to live where it's cheaper. they wind up -- they're thinking they're staying overnight in a motel. and it turns out to be this commune. and they get sort of drawn into that life. >> jimmy: but is it a nudist colony, too, or no? >> there's a certain amount of nudity. well, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you should know this, right? >> i know. well one day i was shooting a scene, and then, who are all these naked ladies and things. and you know, you don't want to let your eyes roam everywhere. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] you have to be professional.
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>> yeah, yeah. i shouldn't have been at all uncomfortable. i grew up watching burlesque from the wings. my father was in burlesque when i was born. when i was 2 1/2, 3 years old, i would be standing in the wings watching the comics and the strippers and the chorus girls. i mean, early in my first years i just watched naked ladies and half naked ladies. [ laughter ] it gave me a life-long interest. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i want to show a clip to everyone. this is alan alda in "wanderlust." >> do you take credit cards? >> no, no, we all decided that you paid us last night with your friendship and honesty and your story. >> that's -- i mean -- >> so kind. >> do we get change back? >> and you know what if we didn't need the money so badly, we would insist. >> just remember, money buys nothing. >> nothing important. >> no, money literally buys nothing. >> i think you mean metaphorically.
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>> no, literally, nothing. literally money buys most things. >> no nothing. are saying that? well i'm saying literally -- i'm saying money buys nothing. >> it buys nothing. >> you're right. money pays for nothing. >> that's right. >> but not literal. >> honey! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how do you get a laugh? you're going in reverse. that is good timing. [ cheers and applause ] >> well i told you, i'm a geek. >> jimmy: you are a geek. >> i can get a laugh with an electric chair. >> jimmy: i love it. "wanderlust" is in theaters everywhere friday. go check it out. alan alda, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] jane krakowski joins us next. thank you so much! [ cheers and applause ] ♪. finally carpet cleaning got easier. try resolve easy clean to deep clean your carpets. its upright brush with activating trigger removes 3 times more dirt than vacuuming alone. it's just 3 easy steps for beautifully clean carpets.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy nominated and tony award-winning actress who stars alongside tina fey on "30 rock" which airs thursdays at 8:00 p.m. [ cheers ] i know it's great, right? thursdays at 8:00 p.m. on nbc. please welcome, jane krakowski! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you've got moves. you've got moves. i can't do that at all. something would break if i tried that. thanks for coming back to the show. >> oh, thank you so much for having me. and hello, roots.
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i love you guys. >> jimmy: oh yeah, we love the roots. i haven't seen you in years. >> well, apparently it's been since 2009. >> jimmy: that doesn't sound right. >> that doesn't sound right at all. >> jimmy: but you have a baby now. >> i do. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> i'm a new mom. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm so happy. i'm so happy for you. beautiful baby. >> he just turned 10 months. and he's already displaying his mad skills. you know, he can do peek-a-boo, he took four steps the other day. >> jimmy: wow! >> thank you. >> jimmy: he's already -- he's in aa? [ laughter ] >> yeah. he could be the first -- with me as his mother. he, for some reason, he's not clapping. and i think, by 10 months, you're supposed to clap? but he does all the other things you're supposed to do. you know, his mom's an actress, so i'm starting to take it personally. am i not giving anything applause worthy? >> jimmy: clap for mommy. come on. >> clap for mommy, she needs it. i'm going to have to go to therapy. >> jimmy: it's more for you. you have to go to therapy for some clapping. [ applause ] it's broadway week here. and you've done a ton of musicals. i saw you in london and you were amazing. >> i know, i always forget that you saw that.
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yes, i've been in countable broadway shows. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, yeah, you're a tony award-winner. >> yes. thank you, yes. >> jimmy: that's huge, that's awesome. >> it's pretty -- it's awesome to me, because it's always been my dream to be on broadway, and you know to -- i never thought in my life not only would i be on broadway, or that i would win a tony award, so. >> jimmy: especially after you star in a movie like "national lampoon's vacation," everyone remember it? [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's cute. come on. >> now i'm going through puberty on the screen. i was 12 years old when i made that movie. [ audience aws ] oh that's so sad. look at those eyebrows. someone needs a make under. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's cute. what are you talking about? >> can you believe i got more work in show business. >> jimmy: i miss eyebrows. i miss eyebrows. >> i can't believe i got more work in show business after that. >> jimmy: oh stop it. it was hilarious. do people quote you all the time? >> they do. i mean, i still find -- this was a very long time ago, obviously, that movie. and people still stop me on the street and quote me my lines. you know, you kind of wonder why my career went the way it did when i started joking out about incest and the clap. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i think it was more like -- [ talking over each other ]
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yeah, oh my god, yeah. i have a french -- what did you say, i'm good at french kissing? >> yeah, "i'm going steady and i french kiss." and the other girl says, "yeah, but everybody does that." and i say, "yeah, daddy says i'm the best at it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and the scene, the scene probably just stops. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's so funny. oh, my gosh. can you explain what's going on "30 rock," i can't explain this. >> how awesome is that? >> jimmy: it's you -- that's weird al. that's my man weird al right there. >> we are currently filming an episode where, jenna has become officially a "b" list celebrity now that she's on "america's kidz, got singing", with a z. >> jimmy: america's kidz got singing. >> it's her own reality show. that's a reality show, a singing reality show. and she's one of the judges. she's been very vicious, mean judge. but now she's getting movies and she makes a movie and she writes her own song for the movie that weird al ends up parodying. so, jenna's gone to a whole new level of sane. but weird al was on our set yesterday, and i think we call him weird, or mr. weird al?
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>> jimmy: you guys call him mr. weird. i think you can probably just call him al. but i don't know he's weird, so he doesn't care. >> he's so awesome. >> jimmy: he's the greatest. >> but he parodies me. and he obviously we do the same sort of video, and -- >> jimmy: is it -- do you like having people dressing up like you? >> well it's really strange, because will forte dresses up like me on the show too. there's a thing about straight men dressing like jenna on the show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's will forte. that's super funny. >> but we're sleeping together. he's my boyfriend on the show. >> jimmy: yeah, he's your boyfriend on the show, absolutely. gosh he's fun. you have so many guest stars on the show. you have jim carrey coming up. >> jim carrey is coming on this thursday night's show. so, we're so excited. >> jimmy: how did you get jim carrey? this is awesome. you get the best -- >> it's really awesome, we're doing a whole episode where we celebrate leap day. so jim carrey comes on that. and boy, he came in, and was hilarious. i mean, he just ran with the part. if i can use that expression. >> jimmy: yeah, he came on our show and actually literally ran on the treadmill for the whole segment. >> he did? he does a lot of running in our episode. >> jimmy: he came out on a
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treadmill, and he wouldn't get off the treadmill. he just kept running through the whole thing. and he was like, at first it was really funny, and then he realized that he actually has to run for the rest of the interview. he started sweating. he was like, this is a bad idea. how long is this interview? >> 'cause he runs a lot in our show as well. >> jimmy: is that right? >> that's strange. that's his new thing. >> jimmy: that's his thing, i guess. who knows. well i want to show everyone a clip of the very funny, very talented jane krakowski in "30 rock." here take a look. >> look how big this crowd is. thad's been in his little nerd world for so long, and now he's peeping out of his shell, like a -- oh, what's that animal? you know, the one that crosses so slowly across the road and then you swerve to make sure you hit it, and then a car coming the other way swerves to avoid you and goes off a cliff, and then that night you and your companion have the greatest sex of your lives because you both have a secret. >> it's a turtle, jenna. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jane krakowski, "30 rock" airs thursdays at 8:00 on nbc! we'll be right back with a performance from the musical "ghost."
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come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 2:30 in the afternoon, a lot to do, and you've hit the wall. but you got to get stuff done. so take 5-hour energy. just open it up, knock it back, and roll up your sleeves. 5-hour energy is faster and easier than coffee. man, does it work. you'll get that alert, energized feeling you need .. . . . wow. look at you go. 5-hour energy. when you gotta get stuff done. ugh, great. you may be going up, but those roots are bringing you down! try root touch-up by nice 'n easy. to extend the life of your color. nice 'n easy has 50% more shades, so you can find your seamless match. with root touch-up by nice 'n easy.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! we are so excited to have a first look at one of broadway's most anticipated new shows, "ghost the musical." it's over at the lunt-fontanne theatre. performing "here right now," please welcome the stars of "ghost!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ here right now here right now this is what we're living for ♪ ♪ this is when we give in to the moment and let go here right now ♪
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♪ everything we're dreaming of is coming through if we step up and own it let it flow ♪ ♪ here right now here right now here is where we make it everything we'll ever need ♪ ♪ here right now here right now and for once it feels like it was always meant to be ♪ ♪ one foot in front of the other so much for us to discover still ♪ ♪ this is why we'll give it everything we have and more ♪ ♪ as long as we stay together we'll just keep getting better till it really doesn't matter what comes after or before ♪
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♪ i don't believe in luck i don't believe in fate but this is so much more than i could ever contemplate ♪ ♪ i can't believe you walked into my life and you're still here ♪ ♪ when i'm with you there's no confusion everything is clear ♪ ♪ and we'll have weeks and months and years whatever ♪ ♪ we were meant to be together you were sent to me forever ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ here right now here right now this is what we're living for ♪ ♪ this is when we give into the moment and let go here right now ♪ ♪ everything we're dreaming of is coming through if we step up and own it let it flow ♪ ♪ here right now here right now ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic. thank you so much. how you doing? thank you so much. richard fleeshman, caissie levy, from "ghost," everybody!
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[ cheers and applause ] and hey, they brought copies of the soundtrack for everyone in the audience tonight! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that's the way to do it. performances begin march 15th at the lunt-fontanne theatre right here in new york city. get your tickets now. my thanks to alan alda, jane krakowski, the cast of "ghost!" and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right there, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a great night! see you tomorrow! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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